Archive for March, 2008

Buy Australian

I really do try my hardest to Buy Australian products. I have clothes made from Australian Merino wool. I drink Australian wines and local beers. I even eat Vegemite toast even though vegemite still seems to me to be a lot like something I might have scraped off the bottom of my shoe. Even recently eating out with my kids at our local Pizza place, I still try to do my bit for the country. So I ordered an Aussie Pizza. But what’s so AUSSIE about putting Ham and Egg on Pizza??

Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

What? They don’t have Ham and Eggs in say, ENGLAND? GERMANY? AMERICA??

Some might argue that Ham and Eggs is Wales’ national dish! PIG AND CLUCKER

As Aussie as ham??

As far as I know, Pigs (and therefore HAM) were domesticated wild boars who hung around in the seedier suburbs of Europe selling crack to passing Goths. Naturally, the internet is an excellent source of detailed and accurate data on the history of pigs

AND, unless I’m crazy, I don’t recall reading about Captain Cook being savaged by Feral Emu Chickens upon landing in his Great Southern Land.

So what makes Ham and Eggs so Australian?? I really haven’t got the first clue, but further research indicates that apparently adding these magic ingredients to virtually ANY menu item allows you to immediately label it as AUSSIE! This has boundless possibilities. I’m going to take this to my local boost juice bar..

Ofcourse it’s really all the fault of Dr. Suess. Australia’s love of Green and Gold stemmed largely from Seuss’s 1960 promotional book tour during which he co-authored the now famous Australian Guide to Pizza Toppings. And at 1$ a word on a $50 bet – he did well!

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Office Politics

Office Politics is killing me! What happens when I know I’m right and everyone else is wrong? Do companies just get to a certain size where there are enough people involved in every decision that there’s no way to get it right? I read an interesting book a while ago called “The Boss” by Andrew O’Keefe. It’s not the greatest work of fiction, but it does give some insight on how people abuse positions of power. I’ve recently found myself smack in the middle of some office devilry of which Joseph Heller would be very proud. It seems, sometimes there’s just no way to stay clean… I did try the “What would Jesus do?” approach but I found I just couldn’t come up with the right response. “What would Charles Manson do?” seemed entirely more appropriate.

The Boss

Speaking Charles Manson AND of great office books, another fantastic read is Paranoia by Joseph Finder. This is the ultimate guide to office politics. I haven’t really hung around tech companies long enough to be sure, but I’d bet my Monday Bagel that the two companies which meet in this Novel are meant to be Cisco and HP.. you guess which is which..

And it’s not just me.. see:

http://farnooshreading.blogspot.com/2007/02/joseph-finder-paranoia.html

or for the Author’s comments on who he modeled the book on

http://www.josephfinder.com/content_author/paranoia.asp

Blogging will get you fired!

I’ve a theory that big employers track random snippets of data on each and every one of their Employees. Those foolish enough to post strong content are never seen again. It’s for this reason I have long avoided the Blog. In the end, the irresistible lure of publication, no matter how obscure or irrelevant was too much. The result is this. Impressive isn’t it? I daren’t say too much, they’re tracking me right now….

Don’t take my word for it.. this is worthy of Letterman!


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