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Earning your Title. What’s in a name?

This week, while listening to the news I heard a Sports Report which made mention of the recent Australian NBL Finals. My ears perked up, mostly because I managed to score tickets to the 5th and final game and it was an awesome night! The newsreader described the teams as the Melbourne Tigers and the embattled Sydney Kings. It really got me thinking. HELLO!!!! They placed SECOND in the NBL. I get that we worship winners to the exclusion of all else, but since when is 2nd place EMBATTLED??? Maybe I’m missing something? Being too hasty? Once again that infallible source of truth, the internet comes to the rescue:

Embattled can mean: a crenelated molding” like the top of a crown! Crown, KINGS it all started to make sense..

Crown

Of course, I’m sure sponsorship woes and coach swaps are not relevant to this discussion… (oops) OK – So maybe the Kings are a little embattled…

But it did get me thinking about how the modern media love to throw around these awesome prefixes! How do you earn a shot at a title? And worse – if you’re stuck with one how do you ditch it? One of my favourite Media titles is Funnyman. Jerry Seinfeld was recently in the news after being in a very serious car accident. His brakes failed and the car flipped. The dude nearly died! Yet, true to form, the headlines read:

“Funnyman Seinfeld escapes car crash”

Yeah, Hilarious! Jerry himself said it best in one of my favourite episodes (The Jacket):

We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tail gunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. (Long pause) There’s nothing funny about that”

Finished with Comedy, you’ll find it it’s gonna be hard to shake off that FUNNYMAN title. If he’s REALLY lucky Jerry might end up with former Funnyman at best..

My second favourite media Title is “Love Rat”. This is a winner. Once you have been branded a “Love Rat” by the media, never again will your name appear without this auspicious title. Threats of legal action, tears and temper tantrums will only serve to strengthen it’s Tarzan’s Grip. ONLY a wedding will shake this moniker off, and even then, it’s likely that the perpetrator will get stuck with new title of FORMER Love Rat. For some, this might be devastating, for others more surprising. I mean, really – check this dude out:

LoveRat

He’s THRILLED to be labelled a Love Rat!

It doesn’t end there. Try these titles on for size: Embattled, FunnyMan, Love Rat, BadBoy, Wifebeater, Songstress, Fashionista, Rich Kid, Winner, Loser, Quitter, Acadmedic, Actor, Author, Musician…

And LASTLY.. How do we EARN a title? What if I want to be in the news.. will the headline read??: –

“Author Pat Devlin saves fish from Toilet Bowl”

after all, I wrote several essays during my high school years.. Surely I’ve earned the title of Author?? How about:

“Actor Pat Devlin snoozes on park bench”

Once again, how much acting do I have to do to earn this title? I’ll bet Russell Crowe would give his left nut to see a headline that began with:

“Musician Russell Crowe does something newsworthy”

… Good luck Russ! P

Buy Australian

AUS Made

I really do try my hardest to buy Australian products. I have clothes made from Australian Merino wool. I drink Australian wines and local beers. I even eat Vegemite toast even though vegemite still seems to me to be a lot like something I might have scraped off the bottom of my shoe. Even recently eating out with my kids at our local Pizza place, I still try to do my bit for the country. So I ordered an Aussie Pizza. But what’s so AUSSIE about putting Ham and Egg on Pizza??

Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

What? They don’t have Ham and Eggs in say, ENGLAND? GERMANY? AMERICA??

Some might argue that Ham and Eggs is Wales’ national dish! PIG AND CLUCKER

As Aussie as ham??

As far as I know, Pigs (and therefore HAM) were domesticated wild boars who hung around in the seedier suburbs of Europe selling crack to passing Goths. Naturally, the internet is an excellent source of detailed and accurate data on the history of pigs

AND, unless I’m crazy, I don’t recall reading about Captain Cook being savaged by Feral Emu Chickens upon landing in his Great Southern Land.

So what makes Ham and Eggs so Australian?? I really haven’t got the first clue, but further research indicates that apparently adding these magic ingredients to virtually ANY menu item allows you to immediately label it as AUSSIE! This has boundless possibilities. I’m going to take this to my local boost juice bar..

Of course, it’s really all the fault of Dr. Suess. Australia’s love of Green and Gold stemmed largely from Seuss’s 1960 promotional book tour during which he co-authored the now famous Australian Guide to Pizza Toppings. And at 1$ a word on a $50 bet – he did well!

EGGS

Office Politics

Office Politics is killing me! What happens when I know I’m right and everyone else is wrong? Do companies just get to a certain size where there are enough people involved in every decision that there’s no way to get it right? I read an interesting book a while ago called “The Boss” by Andrew O’Keefe. It’s not the greatest work of fiction, but it does give some insight on how people abuse positions of power. I’ve recently found myself smack in the middle of some office devilry of which Joseph Heller would be very proud. It seems, sometimes there’s just no way to stay clean… I did try the “What would Jesus do?” approach but I found I just couldn’t come up with the right response. “What would Charles Manson do?” seemed entirely more appropriate.

The Boss

Speaking Charles Manson AND of great office books, another fantastic read is Paranoia by Joseph Finder. This is the ultimate guide to office politics. I haven’t really hung around tech companies long enough to be sure, but I’d bet my Monday Bagel that the two companies which meet in this Novel are meant to be Cisco and HP.. you guess which is which..

And it’s not just me.. see:

http://farnooshreading.blogspot.com/2007/02/joseph-finder-paranoia.html

or for the Author’s comments on who he modeled the book on

http://www.josephfinder.com/content_author/paranoia.asp

Blogging will get you fired!

I’ve a theory that big employers track random snippets of data on each and every one of their Employees. Those foolish enough to post strong content are never seen again. It’s for this reason I have long avoided the Blog. In the end, the irresistible lure of publication, no matter how obscure or irrelevant was too much. The result is this. Impressive isn’t it? I daren’t say too much, they’re tracking me right now….

Don’t take my word for it.. this is worthy of Letterman!


September 2022
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